The Glorious Art of Half-Assery

Welcome to our newest support group, perfectionists anonymous. Hi, my name is Corinne and I’m a perfectionist. Hi Corinne! 

Come on ladies, you know you need to join this group. 

​Time and again, when I meet with women at the SheHive, I am struck with the truth that we all need to be in perfectionist recovery. In my assessment this idea that we need to be perfect usually presents in one of three ways:  

1. we are depressed because we are immersed in self talk that berates our every action for being less than ideal;
2. we are anxious because of the never ending list of tasks that has to be done “just so” to keep the perfectionist monster at bay; or
3. we are frozen in terror to even begin because we tell ourselves that to do anything will ensure that we fall short of our ridiculous standard for what is enough. 

Therapy Session Time

Listen up ladies. You are enough! Sitting there, right this minute, you are enough! The moment you came into this world you were enough. Every minute since and every minute yet to come, you are enough. Not one of you was born wrong, or flawed, or tainted. It is likely, however, that people used this language to mold and shape you in to their vision of what you needed to be. This was for their own needs and gains, and desire for perfection - not because it was true. And those people are a product of their family back in time forever.

And in this moment I invite you to stop believing this lineage of lies. 

​I tell you this because one, it is true,  and two, it will free you from the wrath of perfectionism. I also tell you this so that you begin the work of believing it. But, changing your beliefs will take time, and repetition and support. Changing your behaviors, however, is an easier job. One that can be fun if you are willing to make friends with your inner rebel. 

Back to the Fun

Inside of us is a version of ourselves who is dying to break the rules. Robin Breckenridge, who teaches the PIVOT course (which I can wholeheartedly recommend), calls this our “inner teenager.” It’s the developmentally appropriate part of us who shirked the rules of our family, society and “The Man.”  

This teenage/ rebel part of you, she’s awesome and sassy and isn’t afraid to rock the boat. You need her!

I invite you to begin your perfectionist recovery by making friends with your teenage self. Let her make some inconsequential choices in your day and see if it doesn’t feel a little freer, more fun and just a tad bit bad ass. 

Those inconsequential choices can be anything that won’t have lasting impact on your life. Stuff that won’t matter next week. This friends, is what I have come to call The Glorious Art of Half-Assery. 

My Half-Assery

Examples from my life this week include:

1. Taking my clean socks, pajamas, workout clothes and sweats and shoving them into my dresser drawers unfolded. Sure, it’s all wrinkled but it took 3 minutes instead of 20. The job of clearing the bed got done and the idea of wrinkled yoga pants has no long term consequences. 
2. I had lunch meat, carrot sticks and popcorn for dinner more than once this week. Balanced diet, close enough, cooking, zero.

Best of all, I took my inner rebel out for a much needed stroll in my world and put the perfectionist on a shelf, briefly, to calm the fuck down and get over herself. Best of all, I giggled at the shirking of the rules, the ridiculous standards I usually adhere to and stopped feeling stuck in my day. I loosened the grip of perfectionism, I practiced being enough. ​

A Half-Assed Challenge

So I challenge you SheHivers, fellow badasses, and recovering perfectionists, what can you do to practice The Glorious Art of Half-Assery this week?

Want to lean into this practice? Join me over on the SheHive Facebook group where we will share our successes with challenging perfection and find the much needed recovery support we need! 

Come join the movement! 

Dr. Corinne Rogers,
​SheHive Founding Member & KeyHolder