Stop being nice. Start being kind.

Nice women don’t have honest conversations with each other. Well, they don’t have honest conversations when they are most needed… when they are hurt, when they are angry, or when they disagree. Nice women grin and bare the pain and disappointment. Nice women are taught that it isn’t polite to make waves.

​But truth be told, we all know that nice women still usually have the conversations - just not with the women they need to have them with. When we are hurt or angry, us nice women gather our allies and tell them our woes in hopes that they’ll take up the fight on our behalf. Or, at the very least, validate our feelings.

Being nice may keep everyone happy and feeling good in the short term, but it almost always leads to larger issues in the long-term, creating divides and spiraling simple misunderstandings into mountains. It’s a common practice that feeds the stereotyped belief that women can’t get along - that we’re mean to each other.

We’re not mean - we’re just being nice. The kind of nice we’ve been taught to be… non-confrontational.

What might happen if we stopped being nice and started being kind to each other? What if we loved and respected each other enough to clearly define and voice our needs and our boundaries? Can you imagine the ease and comfort we would feel around each other and with each other if we had a mutually agreed upon clarity of expectations up front?
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Being kind takes courage - it’s a risk to let others know what we need, want and expect from them. What if they reject us?

What if they don’t? Empowered women empower other women.

Kindness is empowering, a dear gift we give to others - allowing them to truly know us. It is also a dear gift we give ourselves - allowing us to truly be known.

What do you think? Is there a difference between being nice and being kind? I’d love to hear what you think. Share your thoughts in the comments below!

With much love and gratitude,

Ursula Adams,
​SheHive Founder