Last month I wrote about standing up to bullies, setting boundaries and creating a life of badassery. At the end of that blog post I promised a second blog on how to confront people with whom we wish to maintain our relationship. So, here goes!
I know you want a simple, step-by-step, process because… me too, sister! But I have to confess, it’s just not that easy. So, before I attempt to put a very complex, dynamic and personal process into a few steps, a few caveats:
The process isn’t magic. Even knowing the process, you may still have to work through each step for a while before you know what you want to confront and why you need to confront.
So, with all caveats in plain view, here is my advice for healthy confrontation - an amalgam of psychological theory, knowledge I gained in therapy and what feels authentic for me. Please practice, edit and make it your own with my full permission and steadfast support!
Step 1: Look for themes. Pay attention to what it is the other party does that upsets you. Are there themes to the behavior, words, etc.? Talk it out with a trusted adviser before the confrontation. They may be able to spot the trends you can’t.
Curious how this might play out? Check out these three different scenarios below:
Scenario #1: Dirty House
So, there you have it. Easy, peasy, lemon squeeze-y, right? Nope! Confrontation is almost always difficult, but its doable and now you have an outline of a process that can help.
Have you successfully navigated confrontation with someone you care for? Share your story in the comments below and let others know what worked for you!
Dr. Corinne Rogers,