Good morning from Hilton Head Island, South Carolina - the first stop of the Adams’ 2017 Year-End Road Trip!
The Mister and I left Detroit late, late Christmas night. The roads were insane - snow-covered and slick. Cars were, literally, spinning out in front of us and bouncing off the guard rails. I clenched my jaw at Cadieux and 94 and only unclenched it to yell, “Slow, down!” or, “You see that car spinning out in front of us, right?!” or “Get out of this lane NOW or I WILL KILL YOU!” until we got to Columbus, Ohio, and clear ground.
Our road trips always start out like this, even when the roads are clear. When we are home I drive everywhere because I know the Detroit streets like the back of my hand. But when we get on the road, Mr. Adams drives because he loves to and I love to stare out the window and explore. Relinquishing control and putting my safety in the hands of my co-pilot is always a process.
Thing is, my co-pilot is not only trustworthy - he’s a professional. Seriously. He’s licensed to drive everything from a train to a forklift to a semi to a car. In fact, the only thing the government hasn’t given him permission to pilot (yet) is an airplane. This is kind of his thing - he likes to learn how to maneuver vehicles like I like to learn how to maneuver change.
I have chosen my co-pilot wisely and as soon as I remember that, the journey always becomes much, much more enjoyable.
I have had some pretty miserable co-pilots in my life, metaphorical and otherwise. Before I got smart about myself - and about life - I handed the reigns over to many, many people who had not earned the right to help steer my journeys. My current co-pilot always suffers the brunt of my past until I remember he’s pretty awesome.
We’re all about to undertake a new journey… 2018.
Who are the co-pilots that are going to help steer the journey for you? Have the earned the right to help? And, if so, are you letting them? Do you make them suffer the memories of miserable-fucks-of-old? I’d love to hear about your navigators - drop me an email or leave a comment below.
With much love and gratitude,
Ursula Adams, MSPOD
SheHive Founder and Leadership Coach
P.S. The facilitators at the SheHive are carefully vetted co-pilots. They don’t get to help anyone carve out a path until they’ve learned how to do so in a way that is grounded in compassion and empathy and backed by research. We're a good road crew!
I love this time of year and not because Christmas is just around the corner and there will soon be three small presents, two medium presents and one large present - all wrapped in different paper - under a tree decked out in eleventy-billion pounds of tinsel and lights in ALL THE COLORS (Mr. Adams has some pretty finite ideas about his kind of Christmas). I love this time of year because my thoughts turn to the new year and the possibilities to come.
I used to spend a lot of time making new year's resolutions. Resolutions like I’m going to lose 50 pounds (by February), jog ten miles a day, eat nothing but wheat grass and spelt, save 50% of my income, and steam clean my toilets weekly.
Then January 2nd would roll around and I’d be full of shame because I had eaten 5 pounds of taco dip on New Year’s Day, laid on the couch for 24 hours straight, spent all of my money on champagne and forgot, yet again, to buy a steam cleaner.
I set myself up for failure every year.
Resolutions rarely work. They’re usually too big, too hard and too much. And often they are way too much someone else’s voices in our head and not what we truly desire for ourselves. It is simply unrealistic to think that at the stroke of midnight on January 1st, we’ll stop being ourselves and become something - or somebody - we’ve never been before.
That’s not to say that a desire to change and grow is bad because it is most certainly not. But there are ways to do so that actually work (trust me, kind of built a whole business on it).
First thing? Throw out those damn resolutions.
This year, instead, let’s start with the end goal. Where do we actually want to be at 11:59 pm on December 31st, 2018? Who do we want to be? How do we want to feel? What will we have wanted to learn? Experience? Contribute to the world?
And what’s just one small way we can get 1% closer to being that person today? It's the 1% that matters the most. Baby steps - small steps - add up.
The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. Where is your thousand mile journey going to lead you this year and what’s the first, ONE, step you’ll be taking to get there? I’d love to hear all about it! Leave a comment below or shoot me an email at hello at theshehive dot com.
With much love and gratitude,
Ursula Adams, MSPOD
SheHive Founder, Leadership Coach
On Dec. 6 the City of Ferndale and several community partners – including the Ferndale Chamber of Commerce, Oakland County Michigan Works, the Downtown Development Authority and Oakland County One Stop Business Center – announced a partnership with Build Institute by hosting a networking event and entrepreneur panel discussion at the Rust Belt Market.
The panel was hosted by Ursula Adams of SheHive, and featured Greg Doyle of Oakland County, Juliana Perry who is Vice President of Relationship Management at 5/3 Bank, Emily Murray of Modern Natural Baby and Jessie James of Drought Juice.
Read more at The Oakland County Times.